More Dirt Quake IRB Heroics

Tony: Hi I don't suppose you'll get anything more inappropriate than a 19 stone 62 year old on a CG125. Any places left? 
Regards Tony
GI: Tony, step right this way! I've attached the form and regs. Any questions, let me know. Good to have you on board.
Tony: Damn; just found the regs you posted on Feb 16th. Thought of claiming I never wear long trousers but that raises so many other issues and I don't want to get into that sort of trouble again. Looks like I'm in then. Cheque and form on the way. At least the bog standard CG chaincase should stop any fingers being lost. Love the mag. Love the craic. Don't suppose you're getting rich but you should be.
GI: Tony You'll be fine. And, as Dave said, it's better to be at the back on the track than at the front of the stands, even if it's just once. Forever more, you'll be able to say you raced a motorcycle.
Tony: OK, I have to admit I did a bit of road racing for a couple of seasons many years ago, proddy RD350 (pre LC) and GS1000. Rubbish at it but there's no feeling in the world like coming back off the track after the most intense experience you'll ever have, flopping into a chair and having every cell in your body relaaaax. See you at Coventry. 
P.S. I think this all started when I went to Belle Vue Speedway as a kid. I always rooted for Peter Craven (and Aubrey Leighton when it was stock cars).
BP: Dear Tony
Please can you send us a self-portrait of you with your CG (one of my all time favorite bikes) in your shorts / leathers / leather shorts whatever. You are a hero and; we would like to put the photo on the Sideblog. We have (amongst more obvious steeds) both a Vespa and a Fireblade, so it's going to be a very interesting race. Sort of Rabbit and the Hare but with more wheel spin.
Tony: Blimey. I've never been a hero before. The only thing I know about it is that you have to wear your underpants outside your trousers. Anyway, pictures enclosed, autographed copies available 50p.