Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Cow Technology for 2010 Season

'Hi Ben
Do you remember riding my bike at Rye House? Remember when you gave constructive criticism about its handling and performance? Well I’ve understood your comments and turned that information into an engineering solution.

So I started with an orange base coat, which of course everyone in the know, knows it to be the fastest colour for flat trackin. And after an embarrassing mix up whilst trying to find a striper, I’ve gone for some silver leaf, too.

Couple this with my new internet purchased leathers and I’m laughing all the way to the finish line. I was told that the weakest part of a leather suit is the seams, so I bought some which are made from a single cow skin. Must have been a big cow though, it’s a touch on the large side, making it quite wrinkly, not sure about the zipper with four toggles either. The wife asked if they’re made out of four skins, “especially with your helmet just poking out of the top”. Honestly.

Anyway, you know that smug feeling that you can only get from wearing brand new socks? That’s how I’m feeling right now. I can’t help it, it just seems perfectly obvious that with this level of preparation 2010 is my year for collecting a couple of points, which would be a 200% increase over last year.

See you at the track.
Jason (I will be changing my name by deed poll to Daisy too)'


Paul Baleta said...

Holy cow!

pushrodmofo said...

Udderly hilarious!

Anthony Brown said...

Come on guys stop milking the joke

#39 said...

What, you gotta beef with it?

Anonymous said...

What do you want? A pat on the back?

I'm rubbish at thinking in the hoof, especially when I'm friesian my mits off.


Anonymous said...

will there be anything in the nipples, so we can have a half time tipple!!?.

Sideburn Magazine said...

You're taking the Skooter Farm thing too far. G