Return of the Living Dead

(from my arch rival Jamie #29)
JC: Hey Ben, better get the plastic golf club out mate, The Bastard lives!!!
Just managed to have my first go since spending the last six months rebuilding it.. Went to a local industrial estate. The thing is EVIL. It's loud enough to make my eardrums bleed and is a total bloody mentalist. It scared the living shit out of me. In a very good way. It wheelies off the throttle like a rabid jack russel surrounded by sausages... Makes my Fire Blade feel like a moped. It will be insane on the dirt. I can't believe I actually managed to finish it in time. See you at Rye House Sunday! hopefully I'll have my new stunt cage fitted by then.

BP: whilst my old dog is blowing a cloud of sawdust out of its arse and coughing from the damp winter's neglect in my garden shed, you will already have embedded yourself in the crash barrier on turn one. I'll just have to hope that your nitrous oxide doesnt ignite until after I trundle past - if my bakerlite 5 year-old tyres can get any grip at all.

JC: Don't talk it down Ben, that shiny new Apico clutch lever you've fitted to the Euroshitter has got to be worth a good 10bhp.

BP: It would be but I haven't even fitted that yet.
Err Jamie, did anybody tell you it's only a practice jolly tomorrow?

JC: Remember I built the bike myself. It'll probably only last a couple of laps before I explode in a cloud of zip ties, electrical tape and bent valves...
When it was on the dyno last week the fuel tap, float bowls and petrol cap all exploded at once, covering the dyno bloke in smoking petrol.. He cut it just before he was turned into a raging fireball. He wasn't impressed. The bike is evil and it doesn't care if it takes itself out in it's hunger for total devastation...
It eats children's toys for breakfast and goes into a death rage if it sees anything with iggle piggle on it..