The Caspian Sea Monster

Off-topic Sunday time, because this is just too bonkers not to share.

During some research for a book I'm writing the word 'ekranoplan' came up. It's the Russian for ground force and was mentioned in reference to the radical aircraft, the KM, of 1966. This enormous mutant aircraft was designed to be too heavy to fly conventionally, but could carry huge loads, much bigger than conventional cargo planes of the day, because it used the pressure of ground force to keep it above the surface of the sea. It was the world's largest plane for it's whole lifespan, and only bettered by the Antonov AN-225 Mriya, an enormous, but regular aircraft that first flew in 1988.

US spy planes spotted it being tested on the Caspian Sea and gave it the nickname, Caspian Sea Monster. It wasn't the only Soviet ekranoplan, but it is the most incredible. Later iterations showed it laden with, and using, top-mounted missile launchers. It seems the monster crashed due to pilot error in 1980 and sunk without chance of retrieval. More recently Boeing were toying with GEV, ground effect vehicles, with the Pelican ULTRA, a not to distant relative of the KM, that never progressed beyond the drawing board. G

Run What Y' Brung

#14 Dirt Quake IV Street Tracker class, rode 200 miles to the track on his Honda mongrel and then raced. Managed to avoid enemy fire and rode home Sunday morning. Trooper.
Who are you? Tell us more about your bike. BP
Photo: Paul Bryant

WWII Pilot Boy Band

My daughter was watching the BBC children's programme, Horrible Histories and a section showing Charles Darwin singing about natural selection caught my eye. Then this came on - at 6.45pm, on CBBC, one of two childrens' BBC channels. It is completely trippy. Douglas Bader's return to the RAF  is compared to Robbie Williams rejoining Take That. I don't know how much of a message it gets across to kids, but some of it might stick. I was laughing out loud while thinking 'They can get away with this?' It's like Monty Python for under-10s.
Listen hard to the lyrics. G

Army

Anybody know what ARMY is refering to on Mike Kidd's XR tank here? Was he a vet'? BP

UPDATE: I hadn't seen this post, but yes, as Dan said the US Army have sponsored lots of motorcycle sport. The National Guard (bottom) and, I think, the police too. It's used to drive recruitment, in the same way TV or magazine advertising is. G

UPDATE: SB Homeguard

James Chappell sent me this wonderful old magazine clipping
- not adulterated with Photoshop. BP

UPDATE: James is a regular contributor to Sideburn and I love his latest collages. G

Dräger Helmet

German ground crew (probably not Leutnant Erwin Ziller the test pilot) wearing a WATANZUG(?) suit, in the Horten H.IX 1945 flying-wing made from two thin, carbon-impregnated plywood panels glued together with a charcoal and sawdust mixture, to combat the British Chain Home radar.

Gary Hethcoat's 1:8th scale Horten Ho 229 V3. BP

UPDATE: more Public Service Broadcasting

UPDATE: These photos and captions came in from Simon (who wrote, and supplied great photos, about riding around the Falklands Warzone on a Bultaco for Sideburn 11).

My mum Mrs Mills (left), age 8. Right is Norma Knupple, her Grandad was German and came to Liverpool in late 1800's as a watchmaker. They came home, back to Liverpool Blitz, after months away evacuated to Machynlleth as they were homesick.

My Dad Bill Mills, age 20 in Royal Engineers and below transferring to Palestine Police 1943, peacekeeping in Palestine.

Tales From The Southern Ocean

Captain Simon goes AWOL on a smuggled Bultaco Sherpa in the Falkland Islands. Read about his adventures in SB#11. BP

Day Job

As Sideburn's Entertainments Officer, Dave Skooter Farm must be capable in many fields beyond his mere 3 O'levels (and an HND in crochet needlework). It's not all paper pushing, telephone shuttlecock and humping speakers, most days are quite fun. Luckily Dave has a driving license for every vehicle type ever invented, so road testing this panzer as a possible company car was a piece of wiener schnitzel. BP

UPDATE

It's only a matter of time

Military Heritage

From our friends at Royal Enfield.

New for 2012, Desert Storm is an addition to the popular range of Royal Enfield Classic 500 motorcycles that pays homage to the company's military heritage, which stretches back to the late 19th century. With its bodywork and frame painted in matt sand colour and plain white badges, Desert Storm contrasts with the high gloss finish of the majority of traditionally styled models in the Royal Enfield range.
The Royal Enfield brand name dates back to the 1890's, when the Worcestershire-based business won a contract with the Royal Small Arms factory to supply precision parts for the making of Enfield rifles. When they made their first new two-wheeler they marketed it through a new company – The Royal Enfield Manufacturing Company Ltd - adding the legendary trademark "Built Like A Gun", which is still in use today.
First introduced in 1931, the Royal Enfield Bullet has a long tradition of military service too; thousands were supplied to the British Army and RAF for use by despatch riders during the Second World War. When updated for 1949 the Bullet was chosen for patrol duties by the Indian Army, a fact that has ensured its survival to this day.
Powered by the latest fuel-injected unit engine, with 5-speed gearbox and multi-plate clutch, Desert Storm combines classic looks and sound (complete with kick-start), with modern levels of performance and reliability thanks to front disc brake, gas-filled rear suspension, Avon Road Rider tyres, hydraulic pushrods and 12-volt halogen headlight.
Priced at £5195 the Desert Storm is available through Royal Enfield dealers. For more information call 01386 700907 or visit royal-enfield.com.

Goodwood Revival

- this weekend 16-17-18. What a great event. You can spend an hour gawking just in the car park before you go in. We went with Red Max in 2009.

Southsiders Vincent Pratt and Kay from Amsterdam will be there this year. BP

Warzone Suaveway

Inspired by the Warzone Speedway feature in Sideburn 8 Jon sent a great photo of his dad, possibly the most suave motorcyclist I've ever seen, taken during the war. I asked for more details. This is what came back. Thanks Jon. G

Hello Gary,
Yes, rather sauve...maybe something to do with the signoras...the pic of my Dad was taken in Brindisi, Italy in the later stages of the war.

Anyway, I said I'd tell you a bit more -

The old man was born in 1921 and died a couple of years ago. It was he who fostered my lifelong love of motorcycles having been heavily involved in pre-war grass track at places like Brands Hatch and Layhams Farm. He was a keen supporter of New Cross Speedway too and I believe had a 'try out' just as WW2 intervened and put paid to such nonsense. He'd already become a sort of 'sponsored' 'tracker for a guy called Reg Marsh who supplied a dope burning 350 JAP engined New Imperial...Reg emigrated to NZ after the war and set up a motorcycle business there.

Having signed up as a mechanic in the RAF he ended up in North Africa where pretty soon the armed services had a proper league going, eventually he went via Sicily to Italy. I dare say the newly published 'Warzone Speedway' book on speedway will tell you much more (mine's on order) but bikes were very much of the home-brewed variety. There was no shortage of engineering know-how and equipment in the REME, RAF and RN workshops, and as you can see from the shots, rough approximations were made to the look of speedway machines back in blighty...the old man specialised in the tiny petrol tank variety! All parts were
scrounged and they generally ran on 'liberated' aviation spirit. The ultimate was an ohv machine of course, with plenty of side valve hacks knocking about however, this called for much creativity. Accounts of OHV Wermacht BMW ohv heads being grafted onto Brit crankcases via the expedient of a barrel turned from the bronze of a salvaged ship's propellor, weren't unknown. Front wheels often carried brake drums but with no internals. Competition was fierce! and it wasn't unknown for teams to recruit 'ringers' like Split Waterman to boost their chances of success.

He never lost the touch either; when I was a young teenager and a group of us rode field bikes at a mate's farm, the old man turned up one day and put us all to shame by grabbing an old 350 Velo and put it into a continuous slide with consummate ease. Naturally, my mother discouraged such activities but when he finally retired from aviation in 1980 he built himself a very quick Vincent Rapide from the proverbial 'box of bits', assuring her that it was just an old machine and very slow!

I've attached another pic showing the old man with his mate...
Best wishes for a great mag.
Jon Dudley

"Tally Ho!"

If you're the kind of person who is bothered by sand in your picnic sandwiches on the beach, then Warzone Speedway is not for you. Trevor Davies' book recounts getting a mouthfuls of the stuff whilst dodging bullets. In Sideburn 8 Mick Phillips takes a light hearted flick through this history book. BP

Sideburn 8. Pre Order Now

Ok, Sideburn 8 is at the printers and we're really happy with how it's looking. We're now taking pre-orders (to help us get a bunch of envelopes written before they land). No price increase despite the fact paper costs are going through the roof. Not only that, every order through the Sideburn shop will get the new exclusive Zombie sticker (see below, shown on the back of a smartphone). Existing and new subscribers will get one too.

We also have a new Sideburn Soul embroidered patch and Warzone Speedway book in the shop.

Terriers

From Captain Simon:
My dad, joined the Terriers aged 16 in 1933 because if you went on camp you got some great boots for 2/6d which you were allowed to keep, and not only that if you joined the regimental band you not only got taught how to play an instrument for free, went to lots of dances, you also got out of all that marching, square bashing, spud peeling and being shouted at, in the band people spoke to you nicely, then some inconsiderate git invaded Poland and they all got dis-banded.

741 Indian work-in-progress

Wieger at Star Twin in Holland has the resources to-hand, to build himself the most bling Ducati - and not just one tarted up with carbonfibre doo-dads but something serious peculiar with a one-off aluminium frame. But nah... He prefers 70 year-old Yanky heavy metal. BP

Lest we forget

‘They were raised during the Great Depression, a time so harsh it makes our current economic mess, bad as it is for some, seem rather quaint. As kids, these blokes made it through the shoeless, dust bowl, soup-kitchen Thirties to emerge battered but unbowed into a full-on World War with enemies on all sides. What the heck, best get on with it, eh? Because, frankly, these were the days when not a great deal was done for you, when stoic self-sufficiency was the norm. Some will have flown in the Pacific theatres while others found themselves at isolated airfields in rural England, maybe Polebrook, Molesworth, Little Staughton, from where they'd haul laden B-17s.’
Extract from The Riverside Bombers, Sideburn #4

MP
See here and here for related stories.

Soul Survivor

Sent to France to fight the Hun in the first World War, as a sunny faced school boy, my Grandfather's classmates were all killed.
He didn't talk about it when he returned home to Blighty. He became an engineer, and even when he became sick he insisted that that my Grandmother take the damn grapes away and bring him instead a boat engine to fettle. I never met the great man, he died years before I was born. Here's a shot of him on his beloved mo' bi' (as he called it) near Cantaing-sur-Escaut (or environs), France, 1917. I think it's a BSA???
BP