Monday, 9 August 2010

Crash 'n' Burn

My G5 iMac has been on operating on borrowed time since before the production of SB#5, it crashes with more gay abandon than Randy De Puniet, and it's as retarded as a village idiot fully tanked-up on Scrumpy. I hereby promise myself to take it to the end of the garden and to schnitzel it with a sledge hammer before burying it in the concrete foundation to my new shed before work on SB#7 begins.

GI's laptop also highsided recently, and was deemed a write-off. It's frightening how much computers have become so pivotal to our everyday lives, and yet how fragile they are.

The good news is SB#6 is DONE and the HiRes PDFs are uploading to the printers as we speak / sleep / swear - the bastard has only crashed 3 times so far today. Each new issue should be easier and faster to churn out - even with computer glitches, but maybe we're getting more fusy, cos they certainly ain't. BP1) G5 iMac jet trash. Built in absolesesnce at it's most frustrating. A single defect component calls for a whole new circuitboard. There is no such thing as repair. When just a couple of components go down 'it is no longer ecconomically viable' to buy replacement circuitboards.
2) Lacie Rugged hard-drive back-ups. My life and magazine depends on these.
3) Waccom tablet this can turn anybody into Bob Ross with electronic powers.
4) Note book full of all the various fonts, point sizes and other layout notes for each issue.
5) Unopened = unpaid bills. Hopefully they will just go away.
6) Coffee mugs x 4. Without their lubrication my rusty engine would seize up.
7) Epson Stylus 2100. This used to be the Daddy of DIY pro printers. I printed my portfolios on it, but haven't used it in a while and now the nozzles are clogged. The individual ink cartridges cost an arm and a leg. More jet trash.
8) Experimental photocopy effect crap test print from printer 7) for opening SB#6 story (see next SBlog post).
9) 'Speed Choice' I got done for speeding, so had to go on a 'speed awareness cource' to learn to drive slower - or get points on my licsense + a fine. Every time they said "Any questions?" I didn't have the cheek to say "Can we instead be taught how to drive faster?"
10) Original Stylophone. When it all gets too much, a quick session on this noise box normally calms me down.
11) Stabilo Boss. Aeons before laws made HiViz not funny anymore, this marker pen has been lighting up dull text.
12) Rye House Rockets speedway bib I bought at Allan Bellham's shop.
13) New SB#6 special offer T.
14) step ladder upon which Mrs is tiptoed to make this photo.
15) Moroccan carpet I bought in an Amsterdam flea market. Smells like damp Labrador, used to be on the floor of my Peogeot J7 camper and has travelled all over, so it's a sentimental carpet.
16) Suomy MX lid I painted in the style of Van Gough's Japanese garden.
17) Davida Speedster painted copper Metalflake by K-A-R-S Tristran in Belgium.
18) Marchal spotlamp as fitted to my XS650 chop. It's sat there to inspire me to get back in the garage. Supposedly.
19) Db killers from my Guzzi. See previous note above. Likewise.
20) Computer ornaments. A ridiculous idea. You dont do anything with them and they just gather dust.
21) Man in need of a holiday
22) Sesame Street DVD show compilation 1974-79. Fabric of my youth.
23) Beyond the darkness, there is light.


Dark Mill said...

Let me understand, Sideburn no.6 is closer to us mortals then we dare to imagine. Great!

t said...

6 is a good number

streetracker said...

We don't see her feet. Slippers or shoes? Ciao BP!

Dan said...

Lacie Rugged! Lacie Ruggeds get me more excited than many modern motos. Than any modern moto stained with those almost-mandatory droopy-drawers, sad-clown, tear-droop headlights...and lacie rugged would be a terrific name for the dirt track racing heroine of sideburn's next comic strip, si no?

suerte, dan

Anders said...

"You're in a care time is short...thats why you use NuNile Hair Slick Pomade."

Anthony Brown said...

Go Lacie go.

Mick P said...

My laptop fried just near the end of SB#6 as well. Nothing to do with the hotter-than-hot content, more some dodgy mains electrics round a mate's house. Amazing that the little-big-mag got finished at all.

arcadian said...

Yep, No1 to No8 in various forms and No21
A lot of redundant overpriced but essential at the time (for our biz) stuff went to the skip when we moved - twice. Posting this on mac pro laptop - the battery went after a year of not using the battery!

Anonymous said...


-273 said...

issue number 5 just popped through the mailbox today looking soooo fresh and so clean! Looking forward to the next one already.

Oldtimerworkshop said...

Rollerball! Thats fantastic

Sideburn Magazine said...

10 points Oldtimerworkshop!