Tuesday, 23 August 2011

All That Glitters

"Following stringent, non scientific criteria outlined bellow, the Dr. has been busy collecting items 'fit for purpose' for his new CoBuilt project.

1. Does it look pretty / cool or better still both:
2. Do I have an irrational need to own it:
3. Is there almost no chance it will fit / work:

A secondhand only rule is strictly in place, I can't understand why 2nd hand is cheaper than new. To think I buy something that has been through a rigorous series of tests to show it works, and pay less for it is, is mind boggling!

First up the 'Zeta clutch lever'. Now we all know two of anything is better than one, and this little fella has two levers! I have no idea what the second one is for, but I'm bouncing up and down with the possibilities....To think it could be the summons for a butler to serve refreshments between races is just too exciting. I simply wont let the the reality of not having a butler get in the way of such a
brilliant idea. Better still, it can't break, that's right, when I break due to the aforementioned sacristy of talent, I can rest assured from my hospital bed that my little 'Zeta' is just dandy. Maybe it can pull it's own lever and make use of the butler I don't have during my convalesce!Next up, let me introduce my new tank, 'The Dazzler'. This ingenious item is my multi tasking new best friend. Lets start with how it makes me feel all fresh and young by being older than me, which is much cheaper than a hair transplant! Secondly with the aid of further global warming and thus more sunshine, I'm certain its going to blind anyone trying to overtake me on the outside of a corner. Petty, underhand racing advantage in the style of 'Wacky Racers' can only be a good thing when my own natural talent is so scarce...."
- BP:
You nut job.
Did you you do the 'end of the bed' test? Prop said item up on your footboard before going to bed; or if you dont have one, then dressing table, chair, windowsill etc
Have sweet dreams about it, and wake up with it gazing at you. And the test is 'Does it still look sexy the morning after'?

The second deformed lever is not for bottle tops but a decompression lever (usually for older single cylinder bikes) but your bike doesnt need it. The butler summons is much more useful anyhow.

- Dr:
"Nut job indeed, I'm a beacon of clear thinking whilst all around me people stumble through a muddled fog....

The bed test was actualized last night (I love that word, so middle management), a crescent of components arching across the chest of draws at the end of our bed, Mrs made odd noises that sounded like "inappropriate" & "weirdo" but I cannot of heard right. I awoke awash with piecing dawn light & they looked as lovely as ever.

The lever news is just fantastic, what is better that a lever without a associated command? So I've just bought a small pull bell on a silken, tasseled cord to butler summon with. Better news still is I now finally have a name for the bike, 'The Dazzler of Downton Abbey'....."


Milo said...

decompression lever? or is that what you pull after scuba diving?

747 said...

my decompression lever is.. pull my finger. ahhh the dazzler should be rad.

Chris said...

a clutch with inbuilt decompression lever eh?

Perfect for my newly acquired Enfield. Where might one secure one of these little cuties?

Anonymous said...

maybe a lever operated ejector seat would be of more use,
the butler could run alongside with a barrow waiting to catch you!.